Before sin entered the world eros (human, erotic love) was infused with agape (divine, sacrificial love). We were able to love as God loves. Wine is a symbol of divine love poured out. In the beginning we were inebriated with God’s wine. But original sin made it so that the wine “ran out.” Lust was the result. Lust is eros cut off from agape. However, Christ restored the wine in superabundance and when we drink from this wine we again are empowered to love as God loves. We receive this “wine” through the grace we receive in the sacraments.
It is important in the spousal relationship to understand that we have a common Father.
"This experience of common belonging – of being ‘brother-sister’ in the same humanity –provides the foundation of their unity as spouses in ‘one flesh’. Left to this fallen world, the mere sexual urge would not recognize the woman as ‘sister.’ And for lack of such recognition, it could not recognize her properly as ‘bride.’ She would be for him an object of appropriation –that is, an object to be grasped, possessed, used."
Human begins become an image of God not so much in their moment of solitude but in their moment of communion. Because we are persons, we are never to be mastered as objects or a dog, because that goes against our dignity as human beings. (Someone may want me to want something, but no matter what they do, no one can force me to want what they want. God gave us free will.) Rather, we find our true purpose in life, in the giving of ourselves to one another. This reflects the trinity.
This is linked together to our sexuality. If a right understanding and use of our sexuality is integrated into who we are, our bodies should reflect what is true inside of us. And so, in the Song of Songs when the writer talks about opening the gate to their lovers garden, there is a very strong connection (as it foreshadows) our opening ourselves to God. It involves complete trust, a forgetfulness of self and therefore a true giving up of one’s self.
When this happens, on a lower level, it can be seen through desiring what is best for our spouse and having them desire what is best for us. And on a more profound level, it can mean willing God’s will as he knows what is best. It is trusting in his giving us the right gifts, feeding us the right foods that are best for us. It is in this way that the term “mystical marriage” can fit into the language of talking about our relationship with God.
This opening of the garden gate to God can be seen most clearly in the life of Mary.
"If we are to meet Christ in the Mystery of the Incarnation, nay more if we are to be formed into “other Christs” we must pour ourselves, mystically speaking, like molten liquid into Mary’s womb; we must have to courage to enter mystically behind the veil into her ‘enclosed garden’ – the perfect mold that formed the God-man."
Mary is the new Eve. Whereas Eve didn’t trust in God’s gifts for her and tried to take them before they were given to her, Mary trusted in God’s goodness and love. "Let it be to me according to your word."
Pope Benedict describes eternal life as “the supreme moment of satisfaction, in which totality embraces us and we embrace totality.” It will be “like plunging into the ocean of infinite love … a plunging ever anew into the vastness of being, in which we are simply overwhelmed with joy.”
In this life, however, the purpose of eros is for it to be lifted up to its highest potential by agape. This involves it’s being disciplined and purified.
Liturgy means “work of the people” and it is through the liturgy that God wishes to transform his people. He does this through the sacraments. Marriage is a sacrament because it points to something bigger. On the cross, when Christ died for our sins, many mystics describe it as a marriage being consummated. Through our gift of self to our spouse, we can see the marriage bed as a sort of alter where we offer up our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God as we unite our sacrifices to the Sacrifice of Christ.
When we participate in the Eucharist, we are given the grace to become divine. We become more and more like Christ. We become one. Through this grace, we are then able to bring the agape back into the eros of our relationships.
